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Most of us try to change our lives the way we clean a messy house: one room at a time. January is for getting fit. Spring is for sorting out the money. Some time after that we will work on the marriage, and one day, when things calm down, we will look at why we keep getting in our own way.

It feels sensible, and it almost never works. The reason is simple once you see it: the four big areas of your life are not separate rooms. They are one house, and the plumbing runs through every wall.

How one problem spreads into the other three

Picture an ordinary week for someone carrying a credit card balance they can't seem to shift. The statement arrives on Monday and they push it to the back of the drawer. That night they sleep badly, so on Tuesday they skip the gym and eat whatever is quickest. By Wednesday they are short with their partner over something small, and the evening goes quiet and cold. On Thursday they tell themselves, again, that they are just not a disciplined person.

Look at what happened. A money worry turned into a health problem, then a relationship problem, then a belief about who they are. And that belief is the one that makes the next money decision harder.

Now imagine that person decides this is the month they get healthy. They buy the shoes, join the gym and plan their meals. For two weeks it goes well. Then the next statement arrives, the sleep goes, the takeaways come back and the plan collapses. They conclude that they failed at fitness. They didn't. They tried to fix one wall while the leak was in another.

Why "one thing at a time" sounds right

The advice to focus on one goal comes from a real place. Willpower runs out, and trying to overhaul everything at once on a Monday morning is a recipe for burning out by Friday. So people swing the other way and pick one area.

The mistake is treating focus and attention as the same thing. You can only push hard on one change at a time. But you can, and should, keep a light, regular eye on all four areas, because a small problem you ignore in one of them is usually what sinks the big push in another.

What works better

Give each of the four areas a little attention every week instead of a lot of attention once a year.

• Health: one small habit, such as a walk at lunch or a glass of water before coffee.
• Wealth: one look at where the money went, or one bill dealt with instead of filed in the drawer.
• Relationships: one real conversation with someone who matters, with the phone in another room.
• Mindset: a few minutes noticing the story you are telling yourself, and asking whether it is true.

None of these is dramatic. That is the point. Small attention to all four keeps any one of them from quietly dragging the others down, and when you do decide to push hard on one goal, the rest of your life is not waiting to trip you up.

You will also start to notice the links for yourself. People who begin paying attention to their spending often find they sleep better within weeks, simply because the drawer is no longer full of unopened envelopes. People who start walking every day often find they are kinder at home. One good change feeds the next.

The hard part is keeping it up

Most people agree with all of this, nod, and then go back to fixing one room at a time, because there is no one reminding them to look at the other three. A plan that covers four areas needs fresh material and a regular nudge, or it fades by the third week.

That is the gap a monthly resource can fill. Amazing Self is a self-improvement membership built around exactly these four areas: Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset. Each month members get the Amazing Self Magazine (the first edition runs to over 140 pages) split into those four sections, plus an Amazing Journey Session (a one-on-one interview with an expert, in audio with a transcript) and two Abundant Wealth Series video presentations from co-editor Mark Ling on building wealth skills step by step. The magazine is co-edited by Amanda Selby and Mark Ling, with contributors including fitness writer Tracey Trimmer.

It is designed around about 30 minutes of your time each week, which is roughly what the four small habits above take anyway. It costs $37 a month, you can cancel any time, and it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee, so you can read a couple of issues before you decide.

If you are tired of fixing your life one room at a time, take a look at Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

Every January, gyms fill up, notebooks get bought and people promise themselves this is the year. By the middle of February most of those promises have gone quiet. Nobody stopped wanting the result. The plan was simply built on a feeling, and feelings don't turn up on schedule.

There is a much less exciting approach that tends to win over a year: a fixed half hour, once a week, that you protect the way you would protect a doctor's appointment.

Why small and regular beats big and rare

Motivation is like weather. Some days it is sunny and you can do anything; other days it is grey and you can barely find your shoes. Plans that need sunshine fail on the grey days, and there are a lot of grey days.

A weekly half hour does not need sunshine. It is short enough that you can do it tired, busy or fed up. And because it comes round every week, it catches you before you drift too far. Miss your new habit on Tuesday and it is easy to let a whole month slide. Sit down for your thirty minutes on Sunday and you notice the slide after one week, while it is still easy to fix.

There is also the simple maths of it. Thirty minutes a week is twenty-six hours a year of deliberate thinking about your own life. Most people never spend anything like that. They spend it on the news, on scrolling, on worrying in the shower, and then wonder why nothing changes.

How to use the half hour

The time only works if it has a shape. Here is one that is easy to keep:

• The first five minutes: look back. What did you say you would do last week? Did you do it? If not, what got in the way? No telling yourself off; just notice.
• The next fifteen minutes: learn one thing. Read one article, listen to part of one interview, watch one short lesson. Pick something about a part of your life that needs attention this week, whether that is your health, your money, a relationship or the way you think.
• The next five minutes: choose one action. Turn what you learned into one specific thing you will do this week. "Walk for twenty minutes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at lunch" is an action. "Be healthier" is a wish.
• The last five minutes: put it in your diary. Write the action down where you will see it, with a day and a time.

That is it. One look back, one idea, one action, one entry in the diary. Most weeks the action will be small. Over a year you will have made around fifty small changes, and small changes stack up in a way that dramatic plans rarely do.

Make it easy to start

Choose the same time and place every week. Sunday morning with a coffee works for a lot of people, because the week ahead is still a clean page. Some prefer Friday lunchtime, when the week is fresh in their minds. Either is fine, as long as it is the same slot every time, because then you don't have to decide each week. You just sit down.

Have your material ready before the half hour starts. Half the reason these sessions fail is that people spend twenty minutes searching for something worth reading and give up. If the reading is already waiting for you, you start straight away.

And keep a simple notebook just for this. After a few months, flicking back through it is one of the most encouraging things you can do, because you will see how many things you actually changed.

Where the material can come from

You can build your own reading list, and if you enjoy that, go ahead. Many people find that the hardest part is finding fresh, trustworthy material every single week across all four areas of life.

That is the idea behind Amazing Self. Its own sales page opens with the line "If you can give us just 30 minutes of your time each week", and the whole membership is built for exactly this kind of weekly session. Each month members get the Amazing Self Magazine in four sections (Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset; the first edition alone is over 140 pages), an Amazing Journey Session interview with an expert in audio and transcript form, and two Abundant Wealth Series videos from Mark Ling. That is more than enough to fill four weekly half hours, with something different each week.

It is $37 a month, you can cancel any time, and there is a 60-day money-back guarantee, so you can try the habit with it for two months and keep it only if it earns its place.

If you want your 30 minutes ready and waiting each week, you can see what's inside Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

Monthly memberships can be hard to judge from the outside. The sales page tells you what is included, but not what it is like to open it, or how much time it really takes. So this is a walk through one month of Amazing Self: what arrives, what is in it, and a sensible way to spread it across four weeks.

What Amazing Self is

Amazing Self is a monthly self-improvement membership that covers four areas of life: Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset. It is co-edited by Amanda Selby, a relationships and personal development writer, and Mark Ling, who built his wealth online and teaches wealth creation. Other contributors include Andrew Rusbatch, Tracey Trimmer (fitness and health) and Mirabelle Summers (relationships and self-help).

Each month you get three things.

1. The Amazing Self Magazine

This is the core of the membership: a downloadable magazine split into four sections. The first edition alone runs to over 140 pages.

• Wealth covers personal finances: dealing with debt, understanding your own money habits, building residual income, starting an investment portfolio whether you have $100 or $100,000, and running your own business.
• Health covers nutrition, exercise, motivation, body image and eating habits, with articles such as "How to Lose Weight by Thinking Differently About Food and Exercise" and "How to NEVER Diet Again".
• Relationships is mostly about the romantic side of life, but also covers making friends, confidence in social situations and getting on better with the people you already have. One example from an early issue: "6 Ways to Be More Attractive Right Now".
• Mindset covers how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes shape your results, with pieces like "Manage Your Beliefs, Master Your Life" and "Easy Ways to Change Your Mindset Right Now".

You don't have to read it cover to cover. Most people will get more from picking the section that matches what is going on in their life that month.

2. The Amazing Journey Sessions

Each month there is a one-on-one interview with an expert, which you can listen to as audio or read as a transcript. The first session is with Mark Joyner, best-selling author and founder of Simpleology, on "How to get Wealth and Achieve all your life goals".

The transcript is handy if you prefer to read, or if you want to underline the parts you want to come back to.

3. The Abundant Wealth Series

Twice a month, Mark Ling presents a video on building wealth, laid out step by step and pitched so that you can follow along even with no previous experience. This is where the Wealth side of the membership goes beyond reading. There is no promise of a particular income here, and you should be wary of anyone who makes one. What you get is a teacher who has done it walking you through the skills.

The bonuses

New members also get two bonuses: six Guided Visualization Mind Movies built around the law of attraction (short videos you can watch as part of a morning routine), and a bonus Amazing Journey Session with Marie Forleo called "How to Achieve Mastery of your Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset", again with a transcript.

A sensible way to use one month

The membership is built around about 30 minutes a week. Here is one way to spread a month:

• Week one: read the magazine section that matters most to you right now, and pick one thing to try.
• Week two: listen to the Amazing Journey Session on a walk or a drive, then read back through the transcript for the two or three ideas you want to keep.
• Week three: watch the first Abundant Wealth Series video and do whatever small task it sets.
• Week four: watch the second video, then flick through a section of the magazine you haven't touched yet.

Do that and you will have used most of what you paid for, without it ever feeling like homework.

Who it suits, and who it doesn't

It suits people who want steady, regular help across several parts of their life rather than one deep course on one topic, and who like reading and listening at their own pace.

It is not for people who want a single quick fix, people who want live one-on-one coaching, or anyone hoping a membership will do the work for them. The material is only useful if you act on some of it.

Price and guarantee

Amazing Self costs $37 a month, billed monthly, and you can cancel any time. It is covered by a 60-day money-back guarantee, which means you can go through two full months of material and still ask for a refund if it isn't right for you.

If that sounds like the kind of help you have been looking for, you can join Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

Debt has a strange way of growing in the dark. The bigger it gets, the less we want to look at it, and the less we look at it, the bigger it gets. Plenty of people know their favourite team's league position better than they know what they owe.

If that is you, you are not bad with money. Most of us were simply never taught how money works, and nobody enjoys looking at a problem they don't know how to solve. The good news is that the first steps out of debt are not complicated. They just take a calm hour and a bit of nerve.

Step one: get it all on one page

Sit down with every statement, every app and every letter, and write down each debt: who you owe, how much, the interest rate, and the minimum monthly payment.

This is the hour most people put off for years, and it is almost always less frightening than they feared. A vague dread is worse than a real number, because you can't make a plan for a dread. Once the list exists, you are dealing with a maths problem instead of a monster.

Step two: stop the boulder growing

Before you think about paying anything off faster, make sure you are not adding to it. That can mean taking a card out of your wallet, deleting saved card details from shopping sites, or cancelling subscriptions you have forgotten about. Many people find an easy few dollars a month just in services they no longer use.

Then build a small cushion, even a few hundred dollars, for the car repair or the broken phone. Without it, every surprise goes straight back on a credit card, and the list from step one never gets shorter.

Step three: choose a pay-off method and stick to it

Keep paying the minimum on everything, then put every spare dollar towards one debt at a time. There are two well-known ways to choose which one.

• Smallest balance first (often called the snowball). You clear the smallest debt quickly, which feels good and keeps you going. Then you roll that payment into the next smallest.
• Highest interest rate first (often called the avalanche). You pay less interest overall, because the most expensive debt goes first. It can feel slower at the start.

The avalanche usually costs less. The snowball is often the one people actually finish, because the early wins keep them motivated. The best method is the one you will stick with for the next year, so choose honestly.

Step four: look at your money habits, not just your money

Debt is rarely only a numbers problem. Ask yourself when you overspend. Is it when you are tired, bored, lonely or celebrating? Do you spend to feel in control after a bad day at work? What did your parents say about money when you were a child, and do you still hear it?

These questions sound soft, but they are where lasting change happens. You can clear a debt with willpower, but if the habit that built it is still there, it will build it again. Understanding your own money psychology is a skill, and like any skill it improves with practice.

Step five: get help if it is too heavy

If the minimum payments are already more than you can manage, or you are being chased by collectors, talk to a free, non-profit debt advice service in your country before you sign up to anything. Be very wary of any company that charges a large up-front fee to make your debts disappear.

Building the skills for what comes next

Getting out of debt is the first half. The second half is learning how to make money work for you, so you never end up back under the boulder.

That is a big part of what Amazing Self covers. It is a monthly membership with a Wealth section in every issue of its monthly magazine (the first edition is over 140 pages), covering how to manage, reduce and clear debt, how to understand your own financial psychology, how to build residual income and how to start an investment portfolio whether you have $100 or $100,000. One of the early issues carries a feature called "Getting Out From Under the Debt Boulder".

Members also get the Abundant Wealth Series: two video presentations each month from co-editor Mark Ling, who teaches wealth creation step by step, even if you have no previous experience. Nobody can promise you a particular income, and Amazing Self doesn't need to. What it gives you is a steady monthly education in money skills most of us were never taught, alongside sections on health, relationships and mindset.

It costs $37 a month, which is worth weighing honestly if money is tight. You can cancel any time, and there is a 60-day money-back guarantee, so if it isn't helping you can ask for a full refund.

If you are ready to learn the money skills nobody taught you, have a look at Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

Personal goal setting is one of the most useful habits you can build if you want your life to move in a particular direction. Plenty of people have wishes. Far fewer sit down and turn those wishes into goals, and the ones who do tend to get noticeably further.

Here are eight tips to help you set goals that you actually reach.

1. Put your goals in writing

Writing a goal down makes it real. It is also your first action towards it, and action is what separates a goal from a daydream. A goal that lives only in your head, with no plan behind it, is really just a wish. Wishes don't get you very far. Written goals do.

2. Put them in order

Not every goal deserves the same energy. Decide which ones matter most and put the bulk of your effort there. The goals that end up at the bottom of the list may not be that important to you after all, and they can wait.

3. Write them as positive statements

Your brain responds better to something to move towards than something to avoid. Instead of "stop overeating", try "eat until I'm satisfied, then stop". Instead of "stop wasting money", try "put $50 into savings every payday".

4. Make them clear and specific

A vague goal is like throwing darts blindfolded. You might hit the board, but don't count on it. "Get fitter" and "save more" are vague. "Walk 30 minutes, five days a week" and "save $300 a month until I have $3,600" are specific.

Specific goals let you measure progress and tell you exactly when you have arrived. After all, "save more" could mean five extra dollars a month, which probably isn't what you had in mind.

5. Give each goal a deadline

A goal without a time frame drifts. A deadline gives you a sense of urgency, and urgency helps keep the motivation going when the first excitement wears off.

6. Keep the goals and the deadlines realistic

If you have never run before, a marathon in six weeks is a quick way to get injured and give up. Unrealistic goals and timelines are one of the fastest routes to failure.

There is a balance, though, between being realistic and keeping your dreams alive. For years, people believed nobody could run a mile in under four minutes. Then in 1954 Roger Bannister did it, and within weeks another runner had done it too. Once people believed it was possible, it became possible. So dream big, and then set realistic steps towards the big dream.

7. Break big goals into smaller ones

A big goal can feel impossible until you break it into steps. Someone starting university with the goal of becoming a surgeon could easily lose heart at the length of the road ahead. Break it into stages (pass this year, get into medical school, finish the training) and then break each stage down again, and every step becomes something you can do this month.

8. Reward yourself when you get there

Celebrate each goal, and each smaller step along the way. It doesn't have to be big or expensive: a meal out, an afternoon off, something you have wanted for a while. Rewards keep you motivated, and they make the whole process a lot more fun.

Keeping your goals alive after the first month

Most goals don't fail on the day they are set. They fail in week three, when life gets busy and nobody is reminding you why you started. The people who reach their goals usually have something that brings them back to them every week, whether that is a friend, a coach or a regular habit of reading and planning.

If you want that kind of regular support, Amazing Self is worth a look. It is a monthly self-improvement membership covering four areas of life (Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset), and setting and keeping goals runs through all of it. Members get a monthly magazine (the first edition is over 140 pages), two wealth-skills videos from co-editor Mark Ling, and an expert interview each month. The first one is with Mark Joyner, founder of Simpleology, on "How to get Wealth and Achieve all your life goals".

It is $37 a month, you can cancel any time, and there is a 60-day money-back guarantee.

If you'd like help sticking to your goals this year, check out Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

One of the keys to living a better life is understanding the law of attraction. The idea is simple: what you focus on, and how you feel about it, shapes what shows up in your life.

An old idea with many names

The belief that we draw towards us what we think about is not new at all. The Bible talks about reaping what you sow, and the golden rule asks us to treat others as we want to be treated. The idea of karma, and the everyday saying "what goes around comes around", carry the same thought. A line from the Buddhist Dhammapada, often translated as "All that we are is the result of what we have thought", has been repeated for well over two thousand years.

Albert Einstein is often quoted as saying, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." When an idea keeps being taught across so many cultures and centuries and still helps people improve their lives, it deserves a closer look.

What the law of attraction says

The law of attraction is more than sitting back and waiting for good things to arrive. You use it actively. When you send out positive thoughts, feelings and actions, you tend to get the same back.

You can see this in everyday life. Walk into a room of new people feeling open and friendly, and the friendly people warm to you. Walk in tense and negative, and the positive people drift away, while the ones who like to complain find you. The room didn't change. What you brought into it did, and the room responded.

People use the law of attraction to bring more of almost anything into their lives: better health, money, success, peace of mind or love. The first step is being open to it. To attract success, you have to carry yourself like someone who expects it. To attract happiness, you have to bring some happiness with you.

You have to believe it, and live it

Shortcuts don't work here. You have to believe what you are sending out, and live it.

Love is the classic example. If deep down you believe you are unlovable, or not worth loving, trying to attract love won't get far, because everything you do will quietly send the opposite message. Start treating yourself as someone who deserves love, and give love freely, and you will find far more of it coming back.

Visualisation: the most popular tool

Visualisation is the best-known way to use the law of attraction. Psychologists have long used guided imagery to help people with anxiety feel calmer. Athletes rehearse a race, a jump or a penalty in their minds before they ever step out to compete. They see it clearly, they believe it, and they perform better because of it.

You can do the same in a few minutes a day. Picture the conversation you are nervous about going well, or the morning routine you want to keep, or the goal you are working towards, as if it has already happened. Make the picture detailed. Then do one small thing that same day that moves you towards it. The picture gives you direction; the action is what makes it real.

Making it part of your day

The hard part of the law of attraction is not understanding it. It is remembering to use it on an ordinary Wednesday when the bills arrive and the day goes wrong. That is why a short daily routine helps so much.

If you want a ready-made routine, Amazing Self includes six Guided Visualization Mind Movies as a bonus when you join: short videos built around the law of attraction that you can watch as part of your morning. The membership itself is a monthly self-improvement programme with a monthly magazine in four sections (the first edition is over 140 pages), Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset. The Mindset section looks at how to change your life by changing your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. Each month there is also an expert interview and two wealth-skills videos from co-editor Mark Ling.

It is $37 a month, you can cancel any time, and there is a 60-day money-back guarantee.

If you want to put the law of attraction to work every day, take a look at Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)

Disclosure: this article contains an affiliate link. If you buy through it, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

We all know how important regular exercise is. Yet many of us don't get nearly as much as we know we should. Sometimes it is a busy diary, but just as often the real reason is that we simply don't have the energy to get moving. Some people feel flat from the moment they wake up; others hit a wall mid-afternoon.

If what you need is more get-up-and-go, here are eight simple ways to find it.

1. Don't go too long without eating

Long gaps between meals leave a lot of people flat and irritable by mid-afternoon. Smaller meals more often, or a sensible snack between meals (a handful of nuts, a piece of fruit, some yoghurt), can keep your energy more even through the day.

2. Make time to switch off

Stress wears you out. A few minutes of quiet breathing before a big meeting, a yoga class in the evening or a short meditation before bed can stop a stressful day from draining every last bit of energy you have.

3. Go easy on alcohol and give up tobacco

Both drain your energy. Alcohol also dehydrates you and spoils the deep sleep you need to wake up feeling fresh, even if it helps you nod off.

4. Talk to your doctor if tiredness won't go away

If you feel worn out most days, even after a good night's sleep, don't just put up with it. Book an appointment with your doctor and tell them. Ongoing tiredness has many possible causes, and some of them are easy to check for and treat.

5. Swap sugary foods for whole grains

Sugary snacks give you a quick lift and then a slump. Whole grains release their energy more slowly. Choose porridge or wholegrain toast over a pastry at breakfast, and wholemeal bread over white for your sandwiches. You will also get more fibre, which most of us don't eat enough of.

6. Take a walk, or take a nap

A brisk walk at lunchtime is often all it takes to wake your body up. For other people, a short nap of ten to twenty minutes in the early afternoon works better. Try both and see which suits you.

7. Eat a wide range of fruit and vegetables

Different fruits and vegetables contain different vitamins and minerals, and your body needs plenty of them to run well. An easy rule of thumb is to put several different colours on your plate each day.

8. Give yourself more time to sleep

Plenty of people tell themselves they are fine on six hours, when in fact they would feel far better with seven or eight. If you are always in the habit of sleeping from midnight to six, try going to bed an hour earlier for two weeks and see how you feel.

Small changes add up

There are lots of natural ways to lift your energy, and the ones above are a good place to start. Try a couple this week instead of reaching for another strong coffee or an energy drink that gives you a lift now and lets you down later.

Most of these changes are small, and the trick is keeping them going. That is easier with regular reminders and fresh ideas, and it helps to remember that energy is tied to the rest of your life too: money worries, a tense relationship or a negative inner voice can tire you out as much as a poor diet.

That is why Amazing Self looks at all four together. It is a monthly self-improvement membership with a monthly magazine (the first edition is over 140 pages) in four sections: Health, Wealth, Relationships and Mindset. The Health section covers nutrition, exercise, motivation, eating habits and lifestyle tips, with contributors including fitness writer Tracey Trimmer. Members also get a monthly expert interview and two wealth-skills videos from co-editor Mark Ling.

It is $37 a month, you can cancel any time, and there is a 60-day money-back guarantee.

If you want fresh ideas for your health and the rest of your life every month, check out Amazing Self here.

(Affiliate link: I earn a commission if you join through it, at no extra cost to you.)